Tuesday, January 20, 2004

//iam surprised dat i miss you dis much baby
kayyy at 12:56 AM

Monday, January 19, 2004

//i've faith in you baby.
kayyy at 10:30 PM

i do miss you..
kinda..
but i wont tell you.

cant believe e days are over.
i still rmb how i feel when i waited for ur return.

how lost i felt.
how empty i felt.
how i walk home as i cry.

the tears i shed.
its wasted.

but i wont regret.
my decisions.
and whr am i bringin our r/s to rite now.

iam pushin it over e cliff.
yes.
and i noe wad iam doin.

iam growing up now.
yes.
i am.

//guess iam losing it
kayyy at 10:24 PM

Swing Swing - All American Rejects

Days swiftly come and go
I'm dreaming of her
She's seeing other gurls
Emotions a stir
The sun is gone
The nights are long
And I am left while the tears fall

Did you think that I would cry on the phone?
Do you know what it feels like being alone?
I'll find someone new

(Swing) swing swing from the tangles of
My heart is crushed by a former love
Can you help me find a way
To carry on again?

Wish cast into the sky
I'm moving on
Sweet beginnings do arise
She knows I was wrong
The notes are old
They bend, they fold
And so do I to a new love

Did you think that I would cry on the phone?
Do you know what it feels like being alone?
I'll find someone new

(Swing) swing swing from the tangles of
My heart is crushed by a former love
Can you help me find a way
To carry on again?

Bury me
(you thought your problems were gone)
Carry me
(away away away...)

(Swing) swing swing from the tangles of
My heart is crushed by a former love
Can you help me find a way
To carry on again?........

kayyy at 9:45 PM

//losing faith in what you do
kayyy at 5:31 PM

//iam slipping away like sand to the tide
kayyy at 5:29 PM

//this much is true
kayyy at 5:25 PM

//why make me strong if you're goin to break me once again?
kayyy at 5:24 PM

i was updating my fridae.
the "more about me" section.
suddenly.
i didnt what to type.
i feel so lost.
i feel so unwanted.
and i dunno why.

i no longer noe why am i living for.
i used to live for myself.
den,
i lived for her.
now,
i see no purpose in life.

lately,
its so hard to find myself.
i seemed to change.
into someone i dont noe.
yeah.
i dont noe myself animore.

how i wish.
wish someone to save me.

i feel so..
so...
so miserable.

argh!

wadever she said.
kept spinning round my head.
ur answer.
haiz.

i feel unreal.

//iam losing faith in you
kayyy at 3:46 PM

Sunday, January 18, 2004

why wont she sae yes?

kayyy at 9:29 PM

iam glad w my skills of covering my inner feelings.
is dat e credit of my cca?
i dont think so.
i think i hv it inside me.

deep down,
sumhow,
i'll learn to let her go thou.
and i can do it.
i told myself.

sandra is a strong person.
she's not goin to break down so easily.

and to all who loves me,
juz wanna tell u guys,
I LOVE YOU TOO!!

i am wad i am.
don try to put yr theory into my head.
it wont work.
i've my own set of theory and principles.
i do thgs my own way.

heehee.
farnie.
iam feeling betta now.
hmms.
aniwaes,
chill u peeps out dere.
kayson is here to save e world before dinner time!!
lol.
farnie sial.
haha
-peace out!

//iam kaysonlicious!! yum.yum
kayyy at 3:13 AM

my heart softens everytime i hear dat song,
and dat line.
"this song is my sorry"

iam sorry too u noe.
in many ways i cant sae.

tears filled my eyes.
sometimes,
i juz cant bring myself to face dis fact.
but i got to.

i'll become a happier person.
sumone who is more real.
lives like a real human.
no longer indulging in you.
no longer yearns to meet you.

iam numb.
so numb.
dat i feel nth when facing yer words.
maybe iam tired of dem.
yes.
i guess.

i feel so incompleted.
dere's sumthg left undone inside me.
but i cant seemed to locate it.

i've been feeling empty since u left me.
sumone else will fill dat place up.
and i noe it.

it cld be u agn.
i dont noe.
it cld be anyone.

but still,
iam glad dat u've her in yer life.
at least i can leave w a peace of mind.
u'll get over me sumdae gurl.
all my exs do.
and iam sure you can do it.

i had a hard time gettin over you.
iam sure i loved u more den u love me.
so if i can do it,
why cant you?

and till we meet,
tk care and all e best ok?
hugs!

//let me go and set yourself free
kayyy at 3:06 AM

dahhh-ling.
hmms.
iam still kinda worried bout yer throat.
i hope the situation becomes betta.
=]
and i miss u alot too!
hehe.
meet up sooooooon ok?
i cant wait to see u agn.

and bout us,
i hope u are regainin faith.
iam changin for e betta.
can u see?
=]
heehee!
iloveyou!
muacks!

*-- baobei

//Look in my eyes and you'll realise there's no disguise

kayyy at 2:58 AM

hey gurl,
noe wad?
i miss u lotsa oreadi.
OUR thg,
i cant wait.
lol.
aniwae,
juz wan ya to tk care of yerself arhs!
eat more ok?
hugs!
muacksy!

*-- maye

//we are king and queen and morons forever.
kayyy at 2:51 AM

i noe iam too harsh towards you.
but iam sorrie.
dere's nth i can do to stop myself.
i cant be sweet to u animore.
i don wanna.
aft knowin dat u are w her.
how u expect me to be sweet?
iam not a moron ok.
but aniwae.
u hv her in yer life de.
guess u wont need me animore.
i meant wad i said.
and if u reali wan thgs to improve.
u shud noe wad to do la.
i've been sayin for e past yr.
and i'd nuff.
do wad u deem fit ok.
tk care.

*--- to xw
kayyy at 2:49 AM

i cant tell myself dat i love you animore.
no.
i cant do it.
i feel so disgusted.
even huiwen is sweeter den you.
i finally noe wads wrong w me rite now.
why kor alwaes sae i stupid.

hah.
iam reali stupid.
to think i was so into her.
crap!
wad farke!?

i feel like slappin e hell outta myself now.
i dunno.
i dunno why am i so angry w myself rite now.

all e thgs dat i've done for her.
haiz.
nuff said.

iam cryin rite now.
cos i noe how much u guys love me.
and how much i let u guys down.

iam glad.
dat i noe who loves me and who loves me not.

stace loves me.
maye loves me.
korkor loves me.
shihui loves me.
huiwen loves me.
lauren loves me.
qiaoying loves me.
yuxin loves me.
puicheng loves me.
kaiwen loves me.
nimkee loves me.
alicia loves me.
viper loves me.
yu min loves me.
ting ting loves me.
jacq loves me.
li yin loves me.
kiki loves me.
hong shan loves me.
nicole loves me.
den loves me.
eliza loves me.
jacyn loves me.
looee loves me.
dauser loves me.
michelle loves me.
birdie papa loves me.
mary loves me.
thant kyi loves me.
vanessa loves me.
my relatives loves me.
dey all love me!
only you dont!
yes!
you!
yang xiuwen.

you tell me u love me.
but you dont!
hah.
so juz shut e farke up.
thanks.
yer cooperation is greatly appreciated.
i might be veh crude and mean.
but i bottled up my feelings for so long dat i cant tk it animore.
argh!
iam goin mad.

//i will grow up


kayyy at 12:14 AM

Saturday, January 17, 2004

HELLO?!?!
iam disgusted by u and her.

get e farke outta my life//
kayyy at 10:52 PM

i do wad i wanna do.
i see wad i wanna see.
i hear wad i wanna hear.
i eat wad i wanna eat.
i drink wan i wanna drink.
i live how i wanna live.
i breathe wad i wanna breathe.
i love who i wanna love.

this is ME.
tk it or leave it.//
kayyy at 10:40 PM

dats all i can do for you//
kayyy at 10:39 PM

hurhur.
went to watch movie today.
"cheaper by the dozen"
lol.
darn friggin farnie.
but i wasnt reali concentrating in e movie.
cannot focus.
cos sumone beside me is more attractive den e movie.
lol.
my baby.

i turned to look at her at regular intervals.
hope she didnt notice.
haha.
i think she didnt la.
if not she wld hv made fun of me.
=]

didnt play w e escalator today.
no mood.
no fun.
cos kor is ard.
den only e 3 of us.
don wan her to feel outta place.
but i promise dear,
i wld find ways to stand in front of u if i had e chance!
heehee.

was reali tired todae.
didnt noe movie-watchin cld be so tiring.
and e prob is,
i slept for 12hrs last nite.
wonder wads gg on w me.
maybe i contracted her "iam tired liao" disease.
lol.

and oh.
did i sae?
we are so farnie todae.
all e alightin and boardin stuff.
lol.

hmms.
aniwaes,
its alwaes nice to lie on yer shoulder baby!
how nice.
how warm.
and i love e way u touch my face!
how gentle how sweet..
must do more kiex?
lol.

heehee.
haiz.
iam so frggin tired.
iam gg off to slp ler..
=]
tk care guys!
tk care maye!
IMU!

and baobei,
iloveyou and imissyou!
hehe.
*hUgS*
*mUaCkS*

//Its just about you and me for now and ever.
kayyy at 4:05 AM

Thursday, January 15, 2004

feeling wad iam feeling rite now,
mks my decision even more firm.

the way u touched my face,
my neck.
the way u stroked my hair.
the way u held my arm.
the way u hugged my from the back.


its comfortable lyin on you.
hadnt feel dis way since long ago.
its you who brought dis feeling back into me.

the escalator seemed like a timemachine.
everytime we stepped on to it,
we hugged.
and time seemed to stop too.

if u didnt notice,
i alwaes like to stand in front of you.
i can purposely cut e queue,
juz to hv a place in front.

wanna noe why?
hee.
cos i noe,
if i stand in front of you,
u'll hugged me from the back.
=]
and i like it!
hugs from the back.
esp those from you.
feel so...
so nice,
so sweet,
so warm.
*sMiLeS*


i understand wad u are goin thru rite now.
the fear in you.
the fear dat made u sae those "iam dyin" stuff.

dear.
pls don sae dat hao ma?
u're not goin to die.
u're goin to be ok.
and everythg's gonna be alryt.

the lump will subside.
you wont hv to go to hospital.
you wont hv to tk blood test.
nth's gonna happen to you.
you'll live til you're 100yrs ok?

even if sumthg's gonna hpn,
i'll alwaes stand by you.
i'll give u all e support u need.
and i'll give you all e love u need.
i wont leave yer side.
i wont abandon you.
i wont.
hv faith in me ok?
*hUgS*

//whenisayiloveyou,itsonlyforyourears
kayyy at 1:27 AM

Wednesday, January 14, 2004

hurtin you is e last thg i wanna do.

//all i want is you.

kayyy at 1:55 AM

Tuesday, January 13, 2004

tralalalaalala~
bored.
kayyy at 5:32 PM

hohoho.
did e "how picky are you?" test.
linked it from friendster.
FUN!!

iam surprised with e results!
hah.

kayson's score : 50%

Quite Picky!

You've high standards and may not be too quick to reject people, but you still understand that everyone has to make a few compromises, even in e most succesful relationships.

=]
try it!


kayyy at 2:13 PM

ps cinema.
watched mona lisa's smile w her.
find e movie title mismatched e movie.

didnt noe wad was gg on w e show.
but can tell its a nice movie.
=]

had a great time.
best movie-watchin exp ever.

leaned on her.
felt warm and nice.

held her hand thru out.
it was cold.
den i hide it inside me.
as in.
in my shirt.
=]


had dinner tgt.
and with those brothers.
lol.
stace almost puked.
wonder why she's feeling lidat.
its has been a few days le.
but i don see e situation improvin.
haiz.

had char kway tiao.
lol.
4bucks.
big plate.
wanted to share w her.
but she juz shaked her head.
in e end?
i ate it all by myself.
no wonder dis size.
lol.

den.
sent her home.
took a bus.
dat stupid bus.
65.
it passes by little india.
had to smell her to survive e journey.
its hard on me.
but i wont stop sendin her home.

she find e tvmobile veh loud and irritatin.
=]
aint she cute?
lol.
so she on e radio on her hp.
it was "hey ya"
she smiled.
i smiled too.

waited fer like 10mins to get double seats?
its kinda crowded la.
but we managed to sit tgt in e end.

she lied on me.
nice feeling.
warm.
=]

den mom called.
asked me bout comp stuff.
aaahhh..
alwaes lidat.
lol.

den xw called.
toked bout 2mins?
den she hung up.
0.o

den i turned ard.
and i saw tears fallin frm her eyes.
oh my gawd farke.
i had a shocked.

i hurry wept her tears awae.
and asked,
"why're you cryin?"
she kept quiet and looked awae.
i thot fer awhile.
was it bcos i toked to xw?
wah..
even if she's jealous.
it wld be too big a reaction.
so i cancelled out dat possibility.

i probed further.
den she said,
"i had a farkedup day, dats why"

hah.
not a very good excuse la.
but if its true.
den how sad.
my poor gurl.
cant imagine how much she went thru.

hello?
sit bus oso can cry.
power~
lol.

i was busy dryin her tears.
saw light reflectin off my moistured palm.
i feel for her.
my poor lil gurl.

hey darling.
everythg's gonna be alryt kiex?
*hUgS*

aft reachin her place,
we went bedok reservior
cos its still early.
e atmosphere dere quite good la.
except a few irratatin joggers,
strollin couples,
dogs..
and worst..
insects!

one stupid ant bit me on my neck can.
think wad?
vampire?
lol.

lookin at e wae she scratches herself mks me wanna laff.
e wae she reacts.
lol.
u shud see it fer urself.

hey.
one more thg.
u'll nv noe how annoyin strollin couples can get unless u went thru wad i did.
dey're reali STROLLING can..
lol.

she kept complainin bout e insects la.
here itchy dere itchy.
scratch here scratch dere.
lol.
so,
we left e place and went to e playground la.

she played e swing,
i played e dunno-wad thg la.
doesnt reali matter.
haha.

den,
she went home la.
and i went back.
usual stuff.

=]
she told me she's still jealous bout her.
lol.
silly gurl.
wad's dere to be jealous abt?
mk me yers la.
lol
as in.
officially?
haha
*hInT hInT*
=P

i hintin only hors.
not givin you ani stress rite?
haha.
but frankly baby,
don tk too long.

like wad i've said.
iam a GOOD catch.
hehe.

hao larh!
iam tired le
hen lei arhs!
gonna slp now..
=]
peace out!


//sharingthespecialmomentswithyou

kayyy at 4:35 AM

wadever dat is said below.
mks no sense to me.

e more i read.
e more farkedup i get.

wad is dis?
3mths of r/s cant even get u to meet me.

and now,
she's sayin dat u're at her place???

i cant get myself over dis.
i reali cant.

i don wanna hear animore rubbish like wad is written below.
iam sick and tired of everythg.

yeah.
practically everythg.

i don wanna hear bout you and her animore.
pls farkin get outta my life.

no more readings of yer fridae.
u can be farkin sweet to her.
she can be farkin sweet to you.
i wont blardi give a damn.

e truth is.
iam so disgusted by her.
even e sight of her words turn me off.

u said i'll turn p if i see her.
blardi shit!
iam damn insulted ok?

i've no right to interfere in yer life.
and i wont.

dont come and tell me dat u love me.
i dont believe.

iam glad dat.
wadever has happened,
made me seen e real you.
shud hv listened to my frens.
every single one of dem loves me more den you do.

yeah.
iam angry w you.
wanna noe e reasons??
ok.
wont let ya die w/out a reason.

1] u gave her ur fridae password, so she had e damn chance to write all those crap
2] u went her house
3] we are tgt fer 3mths and u NEVER been over fer once!

i guess e above reasons are valid enuff la huh?
i don think iam bein unreasonable.
i've my grounds.

anyway.
iam done w my scoldings la.
wont wanna see you or hear you.
dats it.

//iamsofarkinturnedoff
kayyy at 2:21 AM

Monday, January 12, 2004

i've thot bout it long and hard last nite.
tried many waes to comfort myself.

seein those words in yer fridae,
dey hurt so much.
i dont noe why.
but i felt sour in my eyes.

i twisted and turned.
unable to fall aslp.
kept thinkin bout you.

i thot bout e time we spent tgt.
those words u used to sae.
and now,
u are usin it on others.

its hard to accept.
dat u are falling fer her.
but i'll learn to tk thgs easy.
juz like how u did,
when u found out about me and her.

iam feeling so stressed up rite now.
iam afraid dat i'll do thgs to hurt myself.
i dont wan to.
but i dont hv a choice.

u are hvin a betta life.
w/out me.
and w her in it.
i can see u are gettin happier.
it mks me happy too.

dey once told me.
if u love sumone.
when she's happy,
u'll be happy too.

i dont reali noe wad dey mean at dat time.
but now i do.

i've decided to let u go.
to let u pursue e dreams u wanted.

i might not neccessary be w stacey.
but i wont hold you back either.
u've a bright future ahead.

i'll learn to be as cheerful as maye.
e wae she looked at thgs.
she's like a veh good fren to me.
and i'll alwaes cherish her as a good buddy.
hao peng you.


you've been e best gf.
best i ever had.

i didnt tell you dat.
but i felt it in my heart.

3mths.
not long.
but not short for me either.

i noe u'll get over me soon.
u're a strong gurl.
u've frens who stand by you.
frens who love you.
and her.
good fer you.

aniwae,
like wad u said,
its over oreadi.

so,
all i will do is muster up my courage to face dis fact.
and den,
all e best to you kiex xw.
=]

//iwilllearntoletyougo
kayyy at 12:04 PM

Sunday, January 11, 2004

iam shattered.
i dunno wad to do.

facing dis.
i feel so lost.

yeah.
maybe i shud stay single la.

i love e both of dem.
i know it.

but i juz cant let go.
can i hv two?

haiz.
sombody.
save me.

//fallingintotheabyss
kayyy at 4:18 PM

boat quay.
sittin by e river.
with you on my lap.

was lookin out fer fishes.
i tried.
but failed.
wondered how maye saw dem.
she muz hv pretty good eyes. =]

den.
we were lookin out fer sharks,crocs and dead bodies.
haha.
inside joke.
but all we saw was bottles and peanuts.


water hit e cement wall beside us.
splashes of water.
reflection of street lights on e river surface.
passin by of neon-lighted boats.

how romantic.

but we talked about casp.
spoil picture.
lol.

she told me she loved casp no more.
not as much.
i smiled inside.

den she asked whether i liked maye.
=]
yeah.
i like her.
like only wad.
lol.

i asked.
"wad makes you think so?"
den she replied.
"don try to fool me, i've got inside info"

lol.
inside info?
laff die me.

now,
who betrayed me?
haha.

hmms.
aniwae,
it doesnt reali matter la.
as in,
who betrayed me and all..
(but if i noe who, i'll kill her!!)
=]
sweet and nice me!
hehe.
*smiles*

we spent ard 25mins dere?
makin ourselves comfortable
and hvin a heart-to-heart tok.

=]
i truly enjoyed.

den,
she started to get notti as i asked more ques.
she tried to peep inside my binder.

hello?
nv see breast b4 izit?
lol.

i told her,
when e time comes,
u'll get to see it.

we bothed laffed.
iam sure she enjoyed thru out e time too.
rite baobei?
=)

she has nice hair.
curly wirly.
she permed it.
sometimes.
=]
she looked gorgeous.
glamorous.
juz as if she forgive e whole world.

iam not bein exaggeratin.
dats how i feel.

sometimes,
she's like a mother to me.
and i feel like a kid.
esp. e wae she showers me w her love.
i can totally melt.

but i wan to give her love as well.
like a lover and like a mother.

at times,
she's like a lil baby.
whining here and dere.
complainin bout small trivial matters.
aint she cute?
=]

i like e wae i feel inside when i looked at her.
i love it when we can only see each other in our eyes.
e wae we speak w/out usin out mouths.
is dis an indication?



dat dae,
i sent her home.

walkin towards e traffic light.
suddenly,
she held my arm and said,
"iam madly in love with you"

i reali melted you noe.
but i didnt showed it.

i smiled happily and i said,
"iam crazily in love with you"

we kissed.

den,
we held hands and walked
or shud i sae,
strolled to her condo.

i discovered she was walkin reali slow.
den i decided not to walk too fast.
moreover,
i wan to walk side by side w her.
=]


todae.
she went dinner w casp.
supposedly to settle some stuff.
dey broke up dis morn.
i was worried when i found out.
and i felt so helpless.
didnt had anione to turn to except huiwen.
aniwae,
thanks fer yer advice.
=]

i waited fer her call.
finally she called at ard 1plus.
we toked fer less den 10mins,
and she told me she's tired.

poor gurl.
can u imagine wad she went thru?

i chased her to slp.
reluctanly thou.
i wanted her to hv enuff rest.
nice me!
*smiles*

well,
iam tired aft typin so much.
abit spoil picture la.
but i wan to slp le!
=P

ok.
peace out.
chill kiex guys?
look fer kayson if u wan help.
=]
iam alwaes here.
iam so nice!
*grins*


//sittingbythebeautifulandsmellyriverwithyou
kayyy at 4:21 AM

Saturday, January 10, 2004

wad am i suppose to sae?
i see dem doin thgs to demselves.

it hurts so much deeply.
wad hv i done to dem?

has lovin' dem brought dem sufferings?

shud i let go?
or shud i not?
shud i persist?
or shud i i not?

my brains are workin hard.
so hard dat i think millions of cells had passed awae.

i type as i cry.
i cry as i type.

its been a rough road.
how thgs came by.
how we came by.

now seein you lidat reali kills me.

i hear you over e fone.
tearin.
cryin.
depressed.
cos you juz broke up w her.

yeah.
i guess its e real reason yer cryin for.

if you dont love her.
why wld you cry?
its 3yrs.
i understand its hard to let go.

u told me u need time.
u told me u wanna be alone.
u told me bein single is e best thg
for now.
u told me u love me.

wad did i sae?
i'll give you e time u need.
i'll leave you alone for now.
i'll let u get over dis first.
and i love you too. =]

yeah.
i realised i do love you.

i enjoy spendin time w you.
i enjoy holdin yer hand.
i enjoy yer hugs.
i enjoy everythg about you and from you.

even u are so far awae from me now.
i still can feel u ard..
somewhr..
yeah..
in my heart..



and xiuwen,
yer in my heart too..
i noe u still do love me..
i can feel it..
i reali can..
but..
guess not meetin up is e wall in between us.

but i think..
u've yer own life rite now.
u've yer corene.
u MISS her.
[[rene <-- wad is dis?

haiz.
but come to think if it,
we broke up oreadi.
i hv no right to interfere in yer life.
iam in no position to.
so,
yah.
go do wadever u wan and like kiex.
like wad stacey says.
i wont bother to sae anithg cos iam juz a nobody.


//feelingthis
kayyy at 6:14 PM

Tuesday, January 06, 2004

woah.
another new dae.
but are thgs gonna get betta?

hmm.
i miss you
yeah.
you.
don look ard la!
its you.

whoelsecoulditbeexceptyou?
kayyy at 5:39 AM

Monday, January 05, 2004

hmm..
i think iam goin mad inside me..

frankly,
iam kinda happie when i received e msg she sent me
and u noe wad darling?
bein selfish is totally alryt with me!
in fact,
iam glad dat u feel dat wae.
its shows dat u've me in yer heart!
*sMiLeS*

dere's sth wrong w e broadband,
e speed is damn freakin slow.
it tks like 15mins to open up blogger?
and almost 30mins to open up fridae?
wah!
its killin me doug.

den mom called e technical service thgy.
she's machiam like quarrelin over e fone?
den aft awhile,
she hung up.
and she told me she found out e problem le.
i was quite happie.
so i asked : yah, so wads e prob?
den dis is wad she said: dere's no problem with e computer or broadband. i think e one havin e problem is YOU!

yeah.
me.
i get wad she means.
in case you guys didnt.
wad she meant was dat iam hoggin e com,
not lettin my siblings use.
so in order to keep usin e com,
i lied dat dere's was a problem with e com.
dats it.

so,
izzit good to be e only one in e family dat noes how to operate a com?
argh.
am i insulted or insulted?
urgh.
i wanna get outta e hse now.
NOW!
*cRiEs*

not meetin kor le..
meetin her later..
at cityhall..
wonderin wads gonna happen..
another scandalous affair?
nah.
i donwan.
thou i admit i enjoyed spendin every min of our time tgt,
i juz don like e feelin'
e feelin' of commitin adultery.

kayyy at 12:33 PM

Sunday, January 04, 2004

wah!
i bought pink tops!
yeah!
pink!
one hot pink and one light pink!
*gRiNS*

gonna wear it down monks dis fri!
so, anione in pink,
it could be me!
wahaha..

i think iam mad.
boo?
baa?
bleh!

hee..
peek-a-boo!
fun.
nice!

wah.
i still think iam mad.
M A D
D A M!

hee..
goin off to bathe liao!

wheeeeeeee~
kayyy at 9:02 PM

refresh.
refresh.
refresh.

argh.
but i still cant get im my blog.
*gRuMbLeS*
kayyy at 8:56 PM

rah.

i don like e position iam in..
i dunno wad to do..
haiz.
aniwae..
cant go my blog..
roar.
guess i contracted her language..
kept roarin here and dere..
hahs..
aniwaes..
hmms..
i miss alot of pple wor..
miss her, and her.
and her
and her
and her
and her.

hee..
all different pple arhs..
bleh..
hmms..
and i miss you
yeah.
you.


whereisthelove?
kayyy at 8:54 PM

aniwae..

dear?
i don like e wae u are rite now?
its like so weird?
can u be normal?
haiz..
aniwae..
u'll alwaes be in my heart
and u noe it..
so stop doin those thgs to urself kiex..
i love u..
hugs.
kayyy at 8:49 PM

haha..
finalli can blog le..
wahaha..
i wanna complain can?
got broadband like no broadband..
hmms..
aniwae..
juz wanna sae i miss u guys!
muacks!
kayyy at 8:46 PM

Saturday, January 03, 2004

u said u like a scandalous affair..
which is like wad we're hvin right now..
do u reali like it?
or izzit juz a passin' comment?

i love e feelin' when iam holdin' you close..
close to my body.
and e wae u were holdin' back me just felt so right..
how do u feel about us?
i wanna noe dear..

frankly,
i don reali like e idea of hvin an affair..
yes.
i admit.
its sexy and stuff..
but isnt bein tgt even betta?
we can be scandalous and sexy dat wae too.

if status doesnt matter to you,
den why get att to her?

wanna let u noe dat status does matter to me..
i feel like we are commitin' adultery every she calls.
and it surely doesnt feel good..
iam sure u can see it on my face.

cant we do thgs openly?
juz wanted my love to be recognised by you..

it aint just about touchin you..
aint juz bout gettin' close w you physically.
i hope u feel more den dat..
juz like how i feel for you.

yes dear.
i love you.
have been feelin' dis wae since long ago.
i noe you noe it.
but dere's juz too much thgs between us huh?

knew wad u gonna sae aft readin dis entry..
maybe juz askin me not to think so much,
den sayin' you love me too..
it works all e time huh?
but juz wanna ask you to face me here.
not to runaway from e problems agn.
facin' e problem and settlin' it might be a betta wae out.
u may think dat dere's no problem in e first place.
iam juz bein one-sided.
if dats e case,
den lemme noe kiex?
i noe wad to do.

iam glad dat i noe you.
havin you in my life is e greatest thg dat happened to me.

if u didnt noe.
u are so special to me.
in my heart,
u are alwaes different from others.

the wae i look at you.
the wae i see you in my eyes.
the wae u mk me feel.

every single thg u do.
every single move u make.
it alwaes awes me.

every time u do dat thg u do,
u just left me speecless..
blank.

iam surprised w e wae i feel about you.
frankly speakin',
you are not reali dat pretty.
but in my eyes,
you're one of a kind.
my goddess.
my pretty baobei.

you're outstandin.
u stood above all people.

every second spent w you is not wasted.
i get so much.
so much dat i juz cant wait to get more outta you.
juz cant get enuff.
and nv will i.

i noe i'll only love u more every time i see you.
i noe its not right.
but can i help it?
i wish i cld.
but i cant.
i don hv e ability to stop myself.
stop myself from fallin in love.
fallin for sucha you
a you dat is so impt to me.
a you mks my dae everydae..

its been a long time since i left sucha long msg fer you.
wad happened fer e past 3daes made me feel e need to tell u how i feel.

but in general,
juz wan thg i wanna get across to you.
dat is iloveyou.

loveitwhenyouaremakingmefeeldatway//

kayyy at 3:32 AM

went thru all my past entries..
realised how thgs hv changed..
how i used to be so sweet,
and now turnin my back on ya..

dats not e wae i want thgs to turn out..
u misunderstood me..
e r/s had turned sour..
can see yer tryin to save it.
but iam sorrie cos i dunno wad i can do bout it..
everytime i thot of how we came by..
how much we went thru before we got tgt,
i juz can muster up e courage to end dis r/s..
yes.
iam reluctant to..
cant imagine daes w/out you..
i noe i wldnt be able to get use to it..
but on second thots,
is dis e right wae to do thgs?
i dun wanna lie to u ok dear..
hurtin u is e last thg i wanna do..
but i've been doin it over and over agn..
wadever u are goin thru..
i understand
i've been thru dis before..
i noe it feels terrible..
but believe me u'll get over dis soon..

i'll get a solution to dis matter..
soon.
its a promise from me..

where ever we'll go from now,
i dont noe..
i cant see e future..
but haiz..
dunno wad to sae..

juz wan ya to tk care and stuff..
one more thg..
its not dat i don love u animore..
i still do..
yah..
i still do..

u'rejustlikeadreamtome//
kayyy at 2:22 AM

hmms..
spent 3daes at e chalet celebratin e new year..
but in e end we missed e count down..
its like it defeated e whole purpose of e chalet??
lol.
but who cares?
i got e rare chance of spendin time w her..
time dat allowed us to be alone..
to be close..
and to be sweet to each other..

ohh..
and did i mention dat she was damn sweet??
love e wae she would hold me in her arms,
standin' behind me,
dancin' to "where is e love?"
*sMiLeS*
and e wae our lips would meet..
savourin' every second and every moment..
gees..
i juz cant get enuff of u baobei!!
even kissin' you turns me on!
*gRiNs*

ohh yah..
and of cos we did more den juz kissin' la..
haha..
we did much much more den kissin'
heehee..
noe wad?
iam not afraid to tell pple wad we've done..
cus iam single!!
yah..
yer rite!
single!

geez..
so now i can flirt fer all i like..
*sMiRks*

and yah..
lotsa thgs happened at e chalet
peeps had attitude,
juz took their bags and left..
fun huh?
even my kor joined dem..
she took her bag,
and left and chalet in a huff..
everybody went aft her..
but no one was able to keep her..
until yuxin broke down and cried..
den she finally agreed to go back..
huh.
wads dis?
attitude attitude attitude..
*cHaNtS*

heehee..
alrytie..
shant tok bout other thgs except thgs bout my baobei..
guess she had been waitin fer dis entry fer quite some time?
and i shud satisfy her now..
*wInKs*

ok..
lets see..
tokin bout wad we did on xmas eve..
woah~
sensation..
didnt noe my baobei was so skilful in it..
haha..
i tasted it myself,
and to tell e truth..
it was a great experience!
cant find words to describe it..
but its reali a nice feeling..
and if given a chance,
i wld wanna go thru it all over agn!!
heehee..

and errr..
yupp..
one thg..
i hate my nails and i hate yer menses baobei..
hinders "movement"
haha...
and summore iam accused of bein "no skill"
blah!
crap!
who saes i've no skill..
*cRiEs*
so insult..
*hUmPf*

heh.

i'llshowyouwadiammadeof//
kayyy at 2:03 AM

Thursday, January 01, 2004

its 1 of january 2004.
and we are giving each other such a farked up attitude.
sigh. i hope you will compromise.
i'm sorry. i hope it will be a better year.
what i have said to you, i will do it.

-Promises are not meant to broken.-

i LOVE yoo.
kayyy at 5:54 PM

alright.
i dont know whats wrong with you today.
you called me. and gave me that i-am-so-pissed-so-fuck-off attitude.
if thats the case, dont call me.
and when your happie, you are so sweet to me.
ah. weird.
i dont understand you well enough i guess.
'unff said.
xw.

kayyy at 5:40 PM